Ranelid vs Hemingway


Den litterära ådran pumpar i olika rytm hos de olika besättningsmedlemmarna/bloggarna. Det närs en Ranelidsk ordlek och en Hemingwaysk instruktionsmanualsförfattardröm under den solbrända huden. Den undertryckta spänningen har under de senaste dygnet blommat ut till en öppen konflikt mellan huvudkontrahenterna. Förutom den allmänt rådande loja tillvaron som ofta beskrivs i vår blogg vill vi så klart ge er en inblick i denna, högst intima och personliga tvist och läggningsskillnad. Välkomna in i denna högst personliga och högst påtagliga konflikt som lider bot sin kulmen. /Ranelid

Zol i hjärtat zol i zenit = zolsting. Under stora delar av dagen är det tomt i sittbrunn förutom den stackare som surrats vid rodret med zolhatt på skallen. Under en timme står man där ensam medan alla andra ligger inomhus i skuggan och brisen av en öppen taklucka. Zolhatten skuggar hela kroppen utom fötterna som nästan brinner upp. /Hemingway

Oceanerna är platta och blå och stora, fattningslöst stora. Så att se en båt är rent statistiskt väldigt osannolikt. Men på haven finns osynliga vägar som skepp och båtar trafikerar mer frekvent än andra delar. I går gick vi tydligen över gatan, utan att se övergångstället. Inom loppet av endast några få timmar så fullkomligt vimlade det av båtar som korsade vår väg. Hela fem skepp kunde vi räkna till under denna rush hour på havet. Så klart rörde det upp en frenetisk stämning och aktivitet på båten med hojtande, datorspejande och kikarspanande. Kanske var det drömmen och tankarna om livet bortom en 20 meters aluminiumburk som flöt upp till ytan. /Ranelid

Det har varit fullmåne ett par nätter. Ganska najs med lite belysning över havet till skillnad från nätter då den enda belysningen har varit instrumenten. Månen går för övrigt upp och ned fullständigt godtyckligt. I natt gick den upp innan solen gick ner och ner efter att solen gått upp. Andra nätter är månen bara upp och vänder. Hur f-n går det till? /Hemingway

Haj, haj, haj
Båtens egenutsedde Hemingway utbrast i sina egna lätt narcissistiska öron i en havets äldsta torndörnsvrål. Säkert med en intention att överta en känsla av manbarhet och styrka. För oss övriga i besättningen lät det som ett lite försiktigt aj, aj, aj. Inte som om armen fastnat i en vinsch, inte ens ett finger. Mer som om en nagel gått av eller kanske till och med som om nagellacken flagnat lite för fort. Jo då, Hemingway går i “drag”. Ett par avlägsna fenor som skar havsytan hade rört upp de patriarkala känslorna och skapat en förnimmelse av stordåd och storhet. Gungande gång och solens utmattande hetta förmådde dock inte att entusiasmera skeppet till Aj spaning eller aj undsättning. Hemingway fick snopet se sig totalignorerad i sin storhet eller nöd, vilket vi ännu inte vet vilket det var. En lång fiskarhistoria har följt oss övriga om vad vi missat, ett stim hajar, medan vi endast ser de flagnade tånaglarna. Aj, aj, aj. /Ranelid

Konservburksurprise
Ranelids matlagningsdeltagande har gått från noll (mycket snack och ingen verkstad) till aktivt och deltagande med eget initiativ nu när färskmaten är slut och vi lever på konserver. Igår serverades laxbollar med ris. Jag skulle inte rekommendera ens min värsta fiende sådan nödproviant. Det finns faktiskt ett halvt vitkålshuvud kvar för kulinarisk utsvävning i köket. /Hemingway

KFC
Jag måste tillstå att vår Hemingway har en stark bidragande vektor i köket. Medan jag ofta har utforskat fosterställningens qualiteter vid framförallt sjösjuka så har det levererats kulinariska krumsprång i parti och minut. Dock vill jag promptera att mycket kan man göra i fosterställning, kissa, kräkas, sova, äta, skota. Men laga mat tillhör en av det få aktiviteter där fosterställning inte excellerar. Den ganska fiberbefriade kosten (som toppades med lätt överkokt ris och färdigtuggade små fiskbullar)har resulterat i hallucinatoriskt tungotal om snabbmatskedjornas fördelar och tillkortakommanden. Det är i skrivandet stund ingen som orkar gripa sig själv i kärlekshandtagen och moralisera om det egna förfallet och behovet om uppstramning och kroppskorrektion. Nej nu har KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) klättrat upp till en helt ointagbar ledarposition som det mest efterlängtade snabbmatsmålet. En i Europa helt ointressant leverantör av junk food som enligt tillförlitliga källor äger i Sydamerika. Det hela handlar nu om hur till vida man skall duscha innan man går på restaurang eller efter. Härvid har polerna vänt i den Hemingway/Ranelidska konflikten och Ranelid hävdar med emfas att man kan gå på både pub och KFC oduschad efter 9 dagars segling i samma kläder. Hemingway däremot har en lätt, hur skall jag uttrycka det, “fjollig” attityd till det hela där rotborsttvagning och hinkar med Mum och Old Spice behövs innan man kan beblanda sig med landkrabbor och andra förtappade kretiner. /Ranelid

Salsa xhhxhh
På Kap Verde tyckte Ranelid att maten behövde kryddas lite extra när vi var på restaurang. Bristande språkkunskaper kompenserande han med ett gutturalt gestaltande krax som betydde typ: finns det möjligtvis någon stark sås? På alla krogar fanns en spännande hemmagjord salsa i flaska som verkar innehålla mortlad chili med olja. En sådan flaska, helt utan innehållsförteckning tog vi med ombord. Det är nästa lika kränkande för kocken när Salsa Xhhxhh hälls på maten som ketchup. /Hemingway

Morrande tiger ombord
Någonstans blev det lite tokigt när vi packade. Någon (som troligtvis har storjägarambitioner) packade ner en tiger. En levande, morrande, blond liten tiger med drag av gräshoppa (som inte kan sitta still). Det pågår ett hotfullt luftklösande som ofta sammanfaller med att storjägaren yttrar ord som läxa, mat, flytväst, måste. Vid vissa tillfällen när burliknande föremål typ ratt finns inom räckhåll accentueras tigerbeteendet. Nu undrar vi övriga vad som skall hända med denna vitala men otämjda best. Över bord eller på bordet som dagens surprise? /Ranelid

Dusch eller Caipiriña först?
Vad ska du göra först av allt när du kommer i hamn? Ranelid ska tydligen äta friterad kyckling på KFC innan han duschar. Själv ska jag duscha länge och sedan beställa en Caipiriña på baren i marinan. Sen får jag se om jag sänker mig så lågt som till KFC där de friterar allt utom brickan. Brasilien borde väl vara bra på biff med tanke på allt brassekött i kyldiskarna hemma på Ica.

Barnen
Har det som barn har det när de är med kärleksfulla och älskande föräldrar som är trygga. De har det bra, jättebra. Det pysslas, läxas och läses. Sen flamsas, och tramsas det en hel del. Ingrid har monopol på ordet “mamma” som hon börjar varannan mening med. Hampus och Sixten itererar “bogeli-bogeli-bogeli-bo-(ploppljud)”. Ibland faller någon ihop i en flämthög på en soffa. Kvällen är välkommen, då kan man röra sig utan att flyta ut i havet som en blöt gel. Ingrid gav i går fingerfigurteaterföreställningen “Flygfiskinvasionen del 2” som var mycket uppskattad. Alla utom hjältarna dog och det var en lång massakerscen i slutet. Att vi seglar under södra korsett kunde ingen av dem skita mer högaktningsfullt i. Och förövrigt så stavas det “salsa schschää” /Ranelid

2,040 thoughts on “Ranelid vs Hemingway

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  2. Pingback: Mina kollegor skriver som Ranelid resp. Hemingway | Temperatur och Kultur

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